In Tone With Suffering
Often times we find ourselves in a particular situation and it makes us do some thinking.  
Recently I had this experience and thought I might pass it along with you since somewhere in
your lives, as in mine, suffering of another person becomes a dominant thing - we cannot walk
away from it and just let it be.

A long time friend of mine was in the hospital - she had been battling cancer for a long time and
was pretty well exhausted from all the treatments and she just had two more radiation
treatments to take - thirty eight so far - and was scheduled for forty.  Worn out and crying she
just said she had it and would take no more.  She had decided just to let it all in the hands of
God and not take any more.  Quite a brave step for a lady her age, not knowing what was
ahead of her but just abandoned herself to the mercy of God.  In one of my books there is a
sentence that says "The secret of learning to suffer in a virtuous way consists chiefly in
forgetting oneself and one's sorrows and in abandoning oneself to God."  There is a lot of truth
in that.  The soul that is absorbed in its own sufferings and concentrates its whole attention on
them becomes unable to bear them serenely and courageously.

Now let me continue with the story... Little did I know when I went to visit my friend that her
daughter would also be visiting.  She listened to her mother and tried, cajoled and appealed to
her mother to take the last two treatments.  " After all, Mom, think of my kids and me.  Could you
not do it just for them".  There was sorrow and suffering her to - no not the physical suffering
that the patient was going through, but the emotional suffering of knowing that a parent might
not live too much longer.  Feeling her own suffering she was not able to feel the real suffering
her mother was going through.  Did the mother realize the pain that her death could give to her
child?  Yes, but she was not thinking of such pain as she was learning to suffer in a virtuous
way consisting chiefly in forgetting herself and her sorrows and abandoning herself to God.  
The daughter, a bit on the selfish side, thinking of herself and her children and not, seemingly,
thinking of were the real pain is - her mom.

We have to look out of our comfortable shoes and really appreciate that there are other people
in the world far worse off than we, and try to help them mentally and emotionally out of their pits
of sorrow and pain.  It is easy to think of "Poor me" when we are down.  We can be a little self
centered and not actually realize that we and sometimes only we, can help another by
recognizing their pain and forgetting about our problems and pain, even if it is physical.  Many
times, just the acknowledgment of another's pain and encouragement to continue to accept it
can be a tremendous help to their mental, emotional and spiritual frame of mind.

One of the thinks we in the Legion hear every month is the fact that we should always look at
another and find Christ in that person.  This would be a good starting point - a person in pain
certainly can remind us of a Person in pain and what they had to endure for each of us so we
can be who we are.  That might help us to forget our own self and look toward another who is in
far worse pain that we might be.  What a blessing other people can be.

©2009 Fr. Louis Schlangen